he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
