We should be called the Road Head Warriors
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
