problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
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