It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
