ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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