its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Randomize
