take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
