Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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