I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize