No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
