ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
where am i from again
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
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