Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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