dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
