You don't have asthma, your pregnant
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
