New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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