**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
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