i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
false alarm. still invincible.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
