piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize