just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
