I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
