i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
