Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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