I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
