scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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