the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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