now i know why i became what i already was.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
