I think I am morally bankrupt
Princesses don't give blow jobs
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
