ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
