Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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