you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
