Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
