Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize