People in love make me want to vomit
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize