**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
lol hangovers are for mortals.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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