I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
