the new term for farting is butt boxing.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
love makes seman taste better
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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