She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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