Moan for me like Helen Keller
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
