I could have mohawked her pubes.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
