I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
