idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize