I want to stick my p in your. b.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
