DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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