just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Randomize
