someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
