I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize