Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
