did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
