i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
