I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
