on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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