My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
