We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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