well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
