Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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