I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
