I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
