Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize