Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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