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That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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