I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
