bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
She announced her abortion via fbk
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
