you guys were way drunker than both of me
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
