My hand turned me down
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
