hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
