i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Randomize
