it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Randomize
