No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
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