So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
