it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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