I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
